


What I Feel (Has Come and Gone Before)

by lokobookworm95



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-17 23:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5888650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokobookworm95/pseuds/lokobookworm95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The rain still hasn't stopped.  Nothing ever stops, not really.  </p>
<p>You'd think he'd be used to it, after all this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Feel (Has Come and Gone Before)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HopFNfdoRSE) and this [picture](http://electric-firefly.tumblr.com/post/130402678752/x-artist-4%EC%8B%9C-permission-to-post-reblog)!

The rain is falling outside, even heavier than earlier, and Adrien can’t help sighing as he gazes out of his window. It still hasn’t stopped, and it’s not making things better _at all_.

Nothing ever just _stops_.

The rain doesn’t stop, the akumas don’t stop, his father won’t stop, his _life_ never stops, and sometimes he just can’t _take it_. Everything hurts, today. The rain on the windows, the feel of his clothes on his skin, the thought that in an hour he’s going to have to go and take pictures in some brightly lit studio, pretending to be happy and excited when he just—he just wants—

He can’t take this anymore.

Nobody’s home—most days no one is _ever_ home—and so no one notices when he just— leaves. Just walks right out the front door and into the rain. He doesn’t bother bringing an umbrella, or a jacket, or even Plagg, who he left sleeping off some cheese on a pillow. Plagg’s going to worry, but Adrien just doesn’t care anymore.

It’s just one more thing that hurts, after all, and what’s one more thing?

The rain helps, a little, at the same time that the icy pinpricks numb his skin as he walks blindly down the curving streets of Paris, into a mess of alleyways that most likely lead nowhere. He doesn’t encounter anyone as he goes, which doesn’t surprise him at all; who would be crazy enough to be out in this?

Finally, finally, after he’s been walking for who knows how long, he lets himself slide down a wall. He’s drenched, and numb, and so _tired_. The longer he spends in the rain, though, the less he feels, as though the drops of water falling off of him are taking his pain with them as they go.

He’s staring at the raindrops hitting the puddle between his crossed legs when, all of a sudden, the rain stops. He blinks and looks up.

Ladybug is standing there, legs firmly planted, one hand on her hip and the other holding a plain black umbrella above their heads. She has a very small, very soft smile etched across her face, and she’s watching him with concern clear in her sky blue eyes.

Adrien can’t breathe.

Ladybug is _here_. The woman he’s in love with, his partner, his other half. _Ladybug_.

Her arrival brings all of his emotions rushing back to the surface, all of his sorrow and misery and _loneliness_ , and he buries his head in his hands. How can he face her now, like this? He’s weak and stupid and so pitiful that she’s going to turn her back and keep walking as soon as she gets a good look at what a mess he is.

He hears her crouch, listens as she adjusts her footing, just waiting for her to stand back up and leave, and is shocked to feel her hand on his shoulder. He looks up into her no longer smiling face.

“Adrien? Can you tell me what’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?” She’s still there. She hasn’t left him, hasn’t walked away, has put a hand on his shoulder and is talking to him in soothing tones, face serious and concerned and she _hasn’t left_ —

Adrien lunges forward and wraps his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder as he breaks down.

Aside from a very startled squeak when he’d moved, Ladybug doesn’t make a sound. She just strokes his hair as he sobs, letting him come undone on top of her.

He doesn’t know how long he cries, sitting there in the street, letting Ladybug hold him up as he pours out years of bitterness and disappointment and loneliness. Besides shifting slightly ever so often, Ladybug seems perfectly content to sit there with him, as though she doesn’t hear the rain pouring down on the umbrella, like she’d be perfectly happy to stay there forever.

Eventually, however, even tears end. Adrien sniffles and sits up, wiping his eyes with the heels of his hands and leaving them there; anything to avoid looking at Ladybug so that he won’t see the pity in her eyes.

“Adrien?” Ladybug’s voice is soft. “Do you want to talk?” He sighs and lowers his hands, keeping his eyes closed for another moment before opening them to face her. Ladybug is looking him straight in the eye, keeping her face open and concerned as he looks at her. He studies her, taking in the features he’s known for what feels like his whole life, and can’t see a hint of pity anywhere.

He feels like he’s been punched in the chest, like someone has pulled all of the air out of his lungs. He’s just spent who knows how long crying on her, and still she looks at him like he’s the only thing that matters, like anything he has to say will be the most important thing in the world. He can’t remember the last time someone looked at him like that.

He should’ve known that Ladybug would care about him, even though she didn’t know he was actually her partner. Ladybug cared about everyone; it was just who she was.

He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, with a little hitch halfway through. “No, um… I’m—I’m fine. I am.” He nodded once, then again, not sure who he was trying to convince.

Ladybug studied him for another minute, letting the quiet build between them, before she nodded as well and rolled her shoulders. “Alright, Adrien. I won’t make you talk about it if you don’t want, but you should try to find someone to talk to.” She got to her feet in one smooth movement, and held out her free hand to him. He sighed again and took it, letting her pull him to his feet.

He didn’t let go right away, letting her quiet strength give him confidence before he looked up at her. “Thank you, Ladybug. I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you how much this means to me.” Ladybug smiled at him, a wide, delighted smile.

“It truly was my pleasure, Adrien. I’m glad that I was able to help, even if only a little.” He gives her a small smile in return, and then does something that he’s never dared to do before; he pulls Ladybug into a hug. She stands stiffly for a moment, long enough that he’s afraid that he’s crossed a line, before she softens and wraps her free arm around his back.

They stand there for another minute before he lets go of her and steps back. “You’ve helped more than you know.” Her answering smile shines like the sun, and he returns it with a genuine one of his own.

She steps over to his side and offers him her arm. “Well, monsieur, seeing as how I am the one with the umbrella, will you let me have the honor and pleasure of escorting you home?” He stares at her smile, the plain black umbrella, the offered arm, and almost feels like crying again. He chokes it down and manages to scrape up a small laugh instead.

Taking her arm, he gives her another grateful smile. “I would like nothing less, madam.”

They walk down the street arm-in-arm.


End file.
